"Batman Begins" is Fake

Since The Dark Knight was released today, I thought it fitting that I take this opportunity to tell you that its predecessor, Batman Begins, is fake.

Batman Begins is a movie about a long-time employee of Wayne Enterprises named Lucius Fox (played by Morgan Freeman) who is fired from his job for helping a new employee steal company property for personal use, and how he helps the new employee leverage himself into becoming the company owner, which in turn enables him to re-hire Fox to a more prestigious position in the company.

I knew this movie was fake near the beginning when Bruce Wayne and his friend, Henri Ducard, are sliding down a glacier toward a high mountain cliff after Ducard's crib was destroyed. Wayne manages to catch the unconscious Ducard with one hand, stop himself from falling off the cliff with the other just as Ducard goes over the edge, and then save Ducard (a 200 pound man, mind you) by doing a straight one-arm bicep curl of that man, lifting him up onto the cliff's edge. Who do you know that can do a dead curl of 200 pounds? Nobody who looks like Bruce Wayne, that's for sure. FAKE.