Friday, August 8, 2008

Are Cartoons Fake?

A severely astute fake reader asks:
Dear moviesarefake:

Couldn't we just make a sweeping statement and declare that all cartoons and other animated features are fake? That would help out tremendously [because my big brother keeps saying that Pokemon is real and he is going to beat the crap out of me if I dare tell him that Pokemon is fake, and if you would back me up it would be awesome, because then he could beat the crap out of you instead of me. I'm so freaking sick of Pokemon anyway. And your website rules.]

["Little"] Bill Kindling
via the Internet

Nicely done, Little Bill. I'm so proud of you for having learned to use the Internet! I'm very glad you like this website, but unfortunately, we cannot make such a statement about cartoons and other animated features. To give you one example, I have not explored much under the sea, so it is very possible there is a pineapple down there, and that a sponge lives inside it. And don't even get me started on anime, which I'm pretty sure is real, much like kung-fu.

Like I said before, there is only one way to find out, and that is to watch every single movie and determine it for myself! Only then will I prove that movies are fake.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

What do you mean, "movies are fake"???!?! I've seen some movies WITH MY OWN EYES and THEY WERE REAL!!! Get a grip, noob.

love,
Reginald

phoenyx said...

Squids have eight tentacles, but Squidward has only six. Fake?

Anonymous said...

I've found that movies are not fake, nor are they real. They live in an inbetween fairyland that I like to call "FairyLandia."

FairyLandia is not what you would expect. There are no fairies there, for example. It is rather plain. It is full of conservatively dressed men and a few conservatively dressed women (I think 7 maybe). They carry suitcases and eat sandwiches for lunch.

And that, my friends, is why they call it FairyLandia.

Also, the movies are really analogies for the ultimate underlying realities of imagination. You got to free your mind from this sphere through some good stuff to get there. But once you do oh man oh man it is a trip because you go to another place if you know what I mean oh wow yeah.

Anonymous said...

phoenyx said...

Squids have eight tentacles, but Squidward has only six. Fake?

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No, obviously a double amputee. Are you implying that the disabled are fake? Jeez...