"How The Grinch Stole Christmas" is Fake

"How The Grinch Stole Christmas" is a tale of woe and lost love, where Christine Baranski plays Martha May Whovier, a woman who let her long for acceptance and popularity get the best of her and lost her chance at a happy life with The Grinch, a man that could also double as a pet.

Note: This review is about the Ron Howard movie, not the Chuck Jones cartoon version with the same title, which might be real.

Anyway, this movie took some thinking. I was watching it, noticing that something about it just didn't feel right. "This movie seems fake," I thought to myself, "but I just can't put my finger on it.

I had to resort to math, and this is how I proved this movie is fake. Here's the proof:

Let Martha May Whovier = MMW
Let The Grinch = G
Let The Grinch's Dog = D
Let Cindy Lou Who = CLW
Let Mayor Augustus Maywho = MAM
Let Lou Lou Who = LLW
Let Betty Lou Who = BLW
Let cute = C
Let furry = F
Let pet = P
Let man = M


Now then.

MMW != C
CLW == C
therefore CLW != MMW.
G == F
D == F
therefore G == D.
MAM == M
LLM == M
therefore MAM == LLM.
CLW.isPlatonicallyInterestedIn(G) == TRUE.
MMW.isRomanticallyInterestedIn(G) == TRUE.
MAM.isRomanticallyInterestedIn(MMW) == TRUE.
LLW.isRomanticallyInterestedIn(BLW) == TRUE.
BLW.isRomanticallyInterestedIn(LLW) == TRUE.
MAM.isPlatonicallyInterestedIn(CLW) == FALSE.
MAM.loathesEntirely(G) == TRUE.
G.loathesEntirely(MAM) == TRUE.
MMW.couldn'tCareLessFor(MAM) == TRUE.
CLW.isChildOf(BLW) == TRUE.


Ok, so what we have here is, MAM loathesEntirely at G and vice versa, but since G is also D, that means MAM loathesEntirely at D and vice versa, but a dog is a man's best friend, and MAM == man. Also, MAM isRomanticallyInterestedIn MMW and LLW isRomanticallyInterestedIn BLW. Also, CLW isChildOf BLW, and since BLW isRomanticallyInterestedIn LLW, that means CLW isChildOf LLW is also TRUE. But MAM == LLW, which should mean that BLW isRomanticallyInterestedIn MAM, which would also mean that MMW isRomanticallyInterestedIn MAM, but MMW couldn'tCareLessFor MAM, and besides, that would also mean that CLW isChildOf MMW, but CLW == C and MMW != C so probably CLW isChildOf MMW is false. Furthermore, since CLW isPlatonicallyInterestedIn G that also means CLW isPlatonicallyInterestedIn D, which isBestFriendTo MAM, which equals LLW, thus LLW isBestFriendTo G, which equals furry, therefore CLW isPlatonicallyInterestedIn FriendsOf(F) where FriendsOf(F) equals the set of those interested in furry folk, which includes MMW, who is not the mother of CLW. Ergo, FAKE.